thoughts...

This has been an interesting month or so...

I've be recalling my initial move here- how much promise, how much FUN! Especially, I had been thinking about how I thought that was all over with. The more I pay attention, the more I realize that the good point... isnt over. It's just in another phase.

Obviously I came back here for a reason, and I've seen a number of them.

One thing I do regret though, is having taken a job. I really believe its not what I'm supposed to be doing, and It extremely limits what I can and can't do with my life. It's essentially murder for 5 days, anticipation for 2. I have little life outside the weekends anymore, and that incredibly depresses me.

I hope I can manage while working, as well as pushing forward in both school and personal persuits.

This is gonna be rough.

if you read...

leave a bloody comment!

let me know im not alone on here! talking to self = questionable.

it starts... but will it go all the way? hope not.

When you first meet somebody, you find out they like you- first of all, friend of a friend of theirs says he/she really likes you. It kills you, floors you, sends you to the ground. Then you get their phone number, you call em up and you say 'Yeah, that was a great phone conversation, can I see you sometime?'

Then they say, 'I'd like that.'

'I'd like that' makes you fall on the floor again, your heart's about to stop because of 'I'd like that'.

Nothing feels better than 'I'd like that'.

So now, your blood pressures going, you're 6' off the ground, you cant sleep, because of 'I'd like that'.

So then you hang out for a while and you call and talk on the phone all the time. Then, you drop what feels like the bomb.

You say 'Ya know what, I've been thinking about you a lot'.

She says 'ahhhhhhh', and you ask “What happened', and she says, 'I'm sorry, I've just been thinking about you a lot too.' Bam, higher than the sky.

But 'I'd like that', gone. Now you're on to 'I've been thinking about you'.

Now, however many weeks, months go by, makes you feel comfortable saying 'I gotta tell you something, I'm in love with you', and nothing in the world sounds better than 'I'm in love with you'.

Then maybe she starts crying, or maybe he gasps, and suddenly you're like 'I'm in'.

But now, what doesn't work? 'I'd like that,' and 'I've been thinkin about you.'

Now we're at 'I'm in love with you.'

Maybe some day it moves on to 'I love you,' fast forward to 'I love you a lot', 'I love you more than anything in life,' now 'I love you' doesn't work...

It's a threshold, it keeps moving up.

Fast-forward like 6 months 6 weeks, whatever the case may be, now you're like 'I wanna marry you, I want to impregnate you with my love, I wanna just send my love to you... damnit, words don't work anymore.'

Then, you say this line, you know you have, 'I just wish they'd put a new word in the dictionary bigger than love because love just doesn't describe what i feel.'

So then, now he/she starts asking 'Do you love me?' you go 'Of course i do.'

She says 'Say it!' 'Say it twice', 'Say it 3 times!'

Then you cross a really interesting point where all the sudden it becomes 'I hate you'... and you go 'Oh my god she hates me!' Then it becomes 'I hate you more than anything'. Then its like 'We're over', and they go 'No were not', 'Yes we are', now the words completely don't work at all.

You're left with nothing, you're throwing punches underwater. You're done.

Ya know what the moral of that story is?

NEVER, ever, ever, ever underestimate the power of 'I'd like that.'

so much to report!

Soooo much....

As of yesterday, I'm a Free Stater! I've signed my letter of intent to move to NH. www.freestateproject.com.

Also, Neal and I have decided to take a roadtrip this summer, to VA and DC. We will be meeting up with local LP administration and meetings, as well as touring DC and the Cato Institute.

Plus, the new job is going well. I'm extremely excited. I'm in a very busy part of life lately, but it's so fufilling. I'm actually eager to greet each day as it comes, ready to face the challenges and continue moving forward.

reflections-

even with the low attendance last night (late notice) i'm excited. claudia remarked that it's the most organized meeting in years. HAH! thats what i want. organization, and forward movement, growth, active membership.

i'm psyched... the ideas went over well, and the future looks bright. maybe this chair thing isnt so hard afterall ;)

tonight

Tonight is my first time running the LPAC meetings... Hopefully this goes well. I really want to see some change.

Oddly enough, I took a little ride through the center of the north sector, on an east/west road... I need to do this more often, it's invigorating. Such in fact, that it gives purpose. Just to think, all this area, all these people- so many to reach out to... to represent... to protect the freedoms of... wow.

Well, I've got 30 minutes to go and an Agenda to finalize... Wish me luck.

ozma - gameover

You're hot, stop and drop and roll
I'll jump in the swimming hole so i can hear your cheers
I've seen all the episodes
I know all the secret codes so where i go i don't need roads

I'm flying over, over, i'll fly right over you

2P, you take my control
Teach me how to rock and roll or i'll fall down and die

I bet you don't know how to find our extra lives time ninety-nine
I know you tried but still we died

Our game is over, over, this game is overrated, baby
This game is overrated
Now i'm frustrated
Is there no peace of your heart for a brother?

Reset, can't reset the years
So sad, princess isn't here
She's hiding out with all my fears

Our game is over, over, this game is overrated, baby
This game is overrated
Over, over, this game is over